hellowonderland: (buffy // fireman)
Yeah, I can't believe it either, you guys.

Title: By the Rivers Dark (7/32)
Author: Trixen
Disclaimer: Joss. Trixen. They don’t sound anything alike.
Rating: R
Summary: While in search for more Potentials, Buffy stumbles upon a portal, buried inside the rubble of the Watcher’s Council Building. It hurtles her back in time, to a place she could never have imagined.
Timeline: Set after “Bring on the Night” in S7
Pairing: Buffy/Angel

Find the other chapters here
Welcome to the Monster Watch, Buffy... )
hellowonderland: (pacey joey // eyes)
Title: Her Mouth Waters ((Hot Salt))
Author: Trixen
Summary: Summer without Pacey, inevitably turns to fall. A Pacey/Joey show, for realsies. Re-write of Season 3 finale/after.
Category: Dawson’s Creek

“Look at me, Jo.” His voice is rough, hoarse. It catches her between her legs, deep down low. )
hellowonderland: (claire // drink up)
Title: Through
Author: Trixen
Disclaimer: DG = owns. Trixen = owns red wine and not much else
Summary: Just a little ditty. Based on the TV show. What if Claire had found her way through the stones before the Red Coats got her?


Beat, beat.

It rushed within her then, like drums or a cat’s paw, swiping. Her old cat from childhood, Barney. Sand on his whiskers and the little scritch scratch of his tongue against her cheek on sunlit mornings. Beat, beat.

Wake up, Claire. Wake up, you dumb bunny.

She rolls her head to the side just as she vomits clear and pale liquid over the wet grass. She tastes it in her mouth, like oats or other bland things, whatever Jamie fed her for breakfast. He said she ate so little, and that by comparison he ate enough for an ox and she had laughed, her heart thrumming against her breast, her heart. Oh.


The shock of it, it pummels her belly and she throws up again, his semen, his kisses, the blood in the back of the rapist. Blood blush of a popped kidney and Jamie whispering to her afterward, palming her hands, calling her his brown haired lass, his love. Was that what it meant? Was that all there was?

What had she done?

Someone is clutching at her shoulder and for a moment she feels blessed relief, oh such sweet and pure relief. It will be Willie, or even Jamie, returned early, and she wonders, was Horrocks really what Hugh had said he would be and what would Christmas be at Leoch and what bed would they share, dark and hot in the night – she had promised him, after all, promised him she would be there here here when he got back – promised, Claire, oh why did you do that

“Claire, are you all right, oh Claire…”

She can feel the weight of pearls, heavy and cool against her collarbones. She sees his eyes.

She closes hers.


The moment he runs up to the stones, he knows.

He doesn’t ken how he knows, but he does. Jamie Fraser is many things, but he is not foolish or fanciful.

Is she gone she is gone

At the base of the tallest rock, there is a length of plaid, its folds seared by dirt and grass, the sweet stink of rain clinging to his nose as he touches it, wonders.

“Lady Lallybroch,” he says, whispers really, and his voice cracks just once, his hand reaching out for the stone, his hand reaching to her, to nothing, to a memory of brown curls

in the light of the fire.

hellowonderland: (rose // dare to glance)
Let's have an update on my life! Fandom and Real, because that's how I roll.

1. I forgot how much I like Jann Arden. I've been downloading all of her old music (I own the CDs but they are at home in Canada) and wow. "Good Mother" especially is so fantastic. It always, always makes me cry because it describes so perfectly how I feel about my parents.

//I've got, money in my pocket
I like the colour of my hair
I've got a friend who loves me
Got a house, I've got a car

I've got a good Mother
and her voice is what keeps me here
feet on ground, heart in hand, facing forward
be yourself


Cardboard masks of all the people I have been
Thrown out with all the rusted, tangled, dented, goddamned miseries
You can say I'm hard to hold
but if you knew me, you'd know

I've got a good Father
and his strength is what makes me cry
feet on ground, heart in hand, facing forward
be yourself

See why it makes me cry? Oh, *sniff* I miss my Mum & Dad so much. Can't wait to see them in June!!

2. I'm re-watching Dawson's Creek and OMG, the chemistry between Pacey and Joey was there all the way back in S1. Mostly because you can tell Katie and Josh wanted to ravage each other soooo badly, and plus, you can tell that Katie hates James Van Der Beek SO SO much. It's splendidly awesome.

How in heaven's name did the writers of that show EVER think Dawson would appeal to a mass audience? Or, for that matter, to anyone? I mean, for the last time, SHUT UP, Dawson. Signed, the world.

3. Continuing with Weight Watchers. It's getting a bit easier, though for a while there I was gaining and losing the same 4-5 pounds which is fucking frustrating. What I'm doing now is sticking to a few main things: I eat mainly fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds and wholemeal breads and pastas. BUT, and this is weird for me, I'm letting myself have small portions of my favourite foods -- like extra mature cheddar and peanut butter and good salad dressing. It's the best. So a day would be:

Breakfast - a smoothie made with frozen blueberries, frozen raspberries, frozen cherries, strawberries, skimmed milk, 2 tbsp wheatgerm and 1 tbsp flaxseed

Lunch - a piece of cheese, mixed peppers, cauliflower, crispy parma ham, cherry tomatoes and some sort of dip

Dinner - wholegrain pasta with a tomato based sauce and a side salad of mixed grated carrot, crumbled sesame crispbreads, veggies and light feta with REAL olive oily dressing.

SO good and I'm actually steadily losing weight. I mean, so far. Plus I'm doing Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred almost every day. It kicks my ass so hard.

4. My fic writing is not going well at all. I can't seem to get it. I am nowhere near Buffy at the moment so can't edit any chapters of By the Rivers Dark to make them fit for viewing. I am trying though. I want to write BSG fic, but don't feel worthy. I have a Titanic fic that I'm almost finished, but I mean, who wants to read that? I'm very sure that I will crank out a Pacey/Joey DC fic circa Season 5 (AKA the season of HELL AND FORGETFULNESS) that will fix that season of HELL AND FORGETFULNESS.

5. I am obsessed with Ray LaMontagne.

6. The constant media attention on Kelly Clarkson's weight is depressing me. Why is that what it always comes down to for a girl? Why is she always measured by that, like it somehow defines her worth? Poor, poor Kelly. I mean, I sense she doesn't give a shit, but that's how she rolls. I, on the other hand, would be crippled by the hatred and bile out there. And why? For what? Just because she has gained a few pounds? Fucking HELL.

That's all I've got for now. I think the rant finished me off.

December 2015

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